Apr 07 2009
A Good Beginning Topic: Relationships (or not?)
Ok today, I have had the same conversation with two of my closest male friends and then read a blog from a brotha about the same phenomenon. So now, I think it deserves some explanation.
Brothaz: When you meet that woman and you tell her up-front that you are not looking to start a relationship for whatever reason–whether it be because you’re just not ready to settle down or because you’re already in a relationship–90% of the time, if she agrees to it, it’s not because she heard and understood what you said. She really thought you meant that you were waiting for the right person to either make you ready or treat you so much better than your current woman that you will decide that you really want to be with her.
(Sexist Sweeping Generalization in 5…4…3…2…) Most women think that the only reason a man isn’t ready for a relationship is because that man hasn’t met a woman as good as themselves yet. It doesn’t make sense and once a woman has made this mistake enough times, she usually gets the point and either decides not to settle for that or decides to just play the game like she feels she has been played. I’m not going to say there are NO women out there who can truly handle an “understanding,” but I will say that just because she says she can doesn’t mean she can. So don’t be surprised when that chick you just thought was cool decides she wants more and you should too. OR don’t be surprised when that chick you thought was the perfect side piece decides to deliberately mess with your main thang in order to try and make room for herself in the #1 spot in your life. That’s just the way it works.
Sistaz: My advice to you is that if you are looking for a mate, don’t even waste time being anything other than a friend to that cool guy you met if he tells you up front that he’s not looking for a relationship. Don’t lie down with him, because he will still feel the way he felt before your panties came off after you put them back on and do your walk of shame. And if you put yourself in that place, don’t blame him. He was honest with you. You chose to believe you could change his mind when the only person who can do that is him.
It’s just the way things are. Be real and accept realness…and don’t accept less than you want in hopes that you can make it more. You can’t….just my two cents.
